I'm Sorry, But It Has To Be Said.

---------------------------
This review was not created for MHGIBB nor are we responsible for anything said within it, however we agree whole-heartedly with it.
*Dear sircuddles if you read this and would like this taken down let me know and it will be removed. :)
---------------------------

If you like Hollywood Undead, you're an idiot. Originally, I was going to leave my post at that, because it should speak for itself. However, I've realized that I should preemptively explain my case before the onslaught of fanboyism that is sure to ensue.

The Evidence:
Youtube: Hollywood Undead - No 5

When I first saw this video, I thought it was parody. I thought maybe the first 30 seconds or so was some sort of joke, and the real song would continue. That wasn't the case. I realized at about a minute in that these people were serious, and that this was an actual song. I'm not just saying this either, I honestly did think it was a joke.

The Image:
Alright, dudes in masks. I personally don't mind bands that wear masks. It's an image thing, and it works sometimes. GWAR, Slipknot, etc. Wearing masks as a band serves two purposes. The first is to conceal your identity, some people want to keep their privacy. The second (more common) reason is to create an image.

GWAR (a satire band): I don't like their music, but clearly these guys are fucking awesome. That is how you do masks as a band. They wear them as a joke and they look fucking awesome.

Slipknot: Slipknot wears their masks mostly for their image, and it works. Their masks are slightly freakish, and if you saw one of them in your room at night you would pee your pants.

Hollywood Undead:
















This picture actually makes me laugh.

First, their poses are all faux-hardcore. The guy on the left isn't even wearing a mask, he's just put a bandanna around his face with some ninja garb. The guy on the bottom right must have spent a whole Sunday afternoon with his mom creating his mask out of paper mâché. Don't get me start on the guy on the far right. He weighs what, 120? He must have showed up late to the paper mâché party and had to use pink to finish it off. I'm sorry, but you can only take your shirt off and look 'hard' when you are fit, not anorexic. I mean, I could probably kick that guys ass for fuck sakes.

Now, let's look at the image they present in the video. First, we get these asshats jumping out of an unmarked white van (probably used for picking up small children). They have such hardcore street names as 'Tha Producer' and 'Da Kurlzz'. The video looks like it was shot on a budget of about $50 (their allowance for a month combined) and includes ugly street hooker trash. To further substantiate their 'hard' image they hold what is supposed to be 40's in paper bags. Yeah, we're really impressed.

The Lyrics:
This is what really gets me. Not only is this band in need of a makeover and trying to project a hard street image, their lyrics are fucking pathetic. All of their lyrics consist of 3 things:

1. Sex
2. Booze
3. Insert street reference here

'Hey all the kids in the hood come on wave and shake your hands'

Are you fucking kidding me? All the kids in the hood? Wave and shake your hands? I'm sorry, no. This band is attempting to cross genres like Limp Bizkit did (successfully on their first 2 albums) and failing horribly. They're trying to be Slipknot-esque in terms of image, while rapping about shit that matters when you're 16. They're providing lyrical quality that is reminiscent of Nelly (rapping about shoes) while acting tough.

The real problem is the lyrics. You know how annoying people are who just talking about getting drunk, or high, and 'lol it was so funny when I fucked on your couch'? These guys are writing songs about the Shit. If you're under 20 and think you're hard and actually think talking about getting drunk is 'cool', this band is perfect for you.

This band is a band for the LCD, Lowest Common Denominator. If that's you, I feel bad for you. Hopefully you're still young and will grow up eventually, but if you like this band and are over the age of 20, I'm afraid there is no hope for you. You're destined to become one of those people that nobody likes. You'll forever be immature, ranking your accomplishments by how drunk you got and how many times you passed out. You'll float from party to party thinking you're the Shit, when really, all your friends talk about you behind your back because you're a fucking loser. You'll have no aspirations and still think you're cool every time you pass out with your face in someone's shit-filled toilet. Every time you tell one of your tired drunk stories, all your friends will roll their eyes and you'll still think you're awesome.

This band is shit. They're fucking trash. I didn't even talk about their music because it's fucking garbage. Their lyrics are shit, their image is laughable, and they're trying so hard to be what they aren't. Not to mention that the 'singer' sounds like a 6 year old while trying to act street.

Knowing that people like this band makes me depressed. The fact that shit like this becomes popular and people like it is a really saddening thought. These guys aren't tough. They aren't cool. They're fucking losers. If you're an immature 15 year old, I'm sure you idolize these guys. I'm just here to tell you that they're fucking losers, and any reasonably mature individual knows this to be fact.

This band is fucking pathetic in every way. If you like them, well, you suck. If you actually like lyrics like this:

Yo I’m up in the club and the parties jumping
bitches passin' by and they're eyeball fuckin'
I’m Drinking Cristal now they're trying to kiss me
Saying Funny Man Can you sign my titties
Now I got four bitches in the back of my rover
The fantastic Four saying Funny can I blow ya
Three were preppy and one was scene
So three for me and one for Charlie

You are a loser.